Cats And Buttered Bread
As we all know, if you drop a slice of buttered bread, it will land buttered-side down. Also, when a cat is dropped, it lands on all fours.
What would happen if you attached a piece of buttered bread on the back of the cat, buttered-side up, and dropped the cat??
1. The cat would come to a halt about 6 inches above the floor and start spinning. It will hover there endlessly, until someone picks it up or the bread falls off. In fact, we could have a whole array of buttered cats to provide power to the US. 2. Have you ever tried to put two magnets together at the same poles (N to N or S to S?) If you try to put the buttered bread on the cat's back, the bread and the cat will simply fly off in opposite directions.
3. Given that the buttered toast always lands face down and the cat always lands on its feet (see Boyles Law of Felines and Foodstuffs V1 P23 right after the part about feeding chili beans to Bobcats in hopes of solving the energy crisis); the apparent incongruity would be unable to exist in N space as we know it. Therefore, an induced temporal displacement would result in a tear in the space-time continuum which will create an artificial string in space. Now, as we all know, strings are two dimensional objects with incredible mass and gravitational attraction akin to a black hole. The string will proceed to fold space around the cat and probably contort space-time itself. This will have the effect of catapulting the feline into orbit around Alpha-Centauri 3000 years ago (possible Hubble observation target). If theory is correct, the cat will appear to have passed through a black hole before arriving. In short, it will be a lot thinner and much longer - somewhat like linguini. The toast will then proceed to hit the floor, buttered side down, as always.